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Now, one thing that doesn't get old for me are dick jokes. They don't feel as tedious, but the combat does get old pretty fast.
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They task you with killing enemies in a time limit, or taking out a special target amidst a gang of bodyguards. The assassination missions, though? Not as bad. Perhaps here they're meant to be ironically boring and therefore funny, but I just thought some of them were a literal waste of time. Yakuza games do these kinds of mundane tasks so much better by transforming them into wacky mini-games. But many are downright dull: you run up to trash and press A to pick it up, or you shake trees to pick up coconuts and deliver them to a counter. Some of them are oddly satisfying, like mowing a lawn, with more money awarded the more grass you've cut. These menial tasks really are menial, by the way. Once you've earned enough, you cash it in, take on a boss, then repeat the process. To earn money you ride around the game's open world on your bike, taking on menial tasks as well as combat challenges.
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The game is split into ten boss fights, and to take on each assassin you'll need to pay an entry fee. All I truly understand is that Travis is desperate to shag Sylvia, the person that guides him to each target. I'm not clear on a more specific motive - there's a highlight reel at the start which I think was meant to explain what's going on, but it zipped over my head. Your mission is to climb the ten ranks within an assassins organisation and become the number one killer by murdering your way to the top. In No More Heroes, you play as Travis Touchdown, this anime-obsessed porn junkie who wields a lightsaber and speaks exclusively in one-liners. Unless you're powered entirely by nostalgia, I'd say it's a middling time.
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And even if you can get past that, I'm not sure the game holds up 14 years later, on a new platform and with a new control scheme. This is as barebones a port as you can get, really.
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This hack-and-slasher features the legendary Travis Touchdown, but it's a barebones PC port that's probably still better on the Nintendo Wii.Įh, I'm not convinced by this HD remaster of hack-and-slasher No More Heroes.
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